Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Reintegration things that make you go, "hmmmm".

Not even one month ago I spent the day getting my "sexy on" for the return of my husband.
A friend of mine braided my hair, I painted my toe nails and did my last minute eyebrow touch ups and well, lets be honest ladies, did that last minute leg shaving.
His unit marched into the gym at 0200 on a cold December night and it marked not only the beginning of a wonderful holiday season for us, but also the beginning of reintegration.

My husband and I have been through three deployments and every deployment there are certain things I know to expect when he comes home. Our earlier deployments, I must admit I was too young to even try to dissect them, but now, a little older and a little wiser I am starting to understand his process.

When Sr. comes home, its as if he has ants in his pants. He is so used to being on the go down range, that sitting still and enjoying down time is hard for him. In the first week he was home, that man came up with so many things we "needed" to do. These are things that I know can wait, but to him they cant wait, its a mission that needs to be complete. SO we pack up the kidletts and go.

 Next, he reorganizes my house. I wake up to my counters full of cans and plates, my computer is full of new folders and tabs. When I walk into a newly reorganized area, he proudly smiles at me and says," Look Rib, now you can reach all the cups and plates, and I put this up here because we hardly use it". Of course I smile and nodd, and thank him for his help and let him be.
Things like this will continue for about a month, and they are things Ive come to expect from dealing with the first two deployments, and it wasn't until now did I realize what it was he was trying to create or build for himself.

By reorganizing things the way he wanted, he was creating a sense of control. Down range he is in control of his soldiers, his truck, his time and space. Then a year later he comes home to an environment where the kids control the mess and Ive been in control of everything else. This is where I had one of those Oprah Ah-ha moments.
So I sit back and watch him piece it all together like Junior with a new set of Legos.  

But Ive also had other moments arise that I have not quiet been able to figure out. Since Sr. has been home he has been trying very hard to help me in the household, this includes doing dishes. I will admit I am a freak when it comes to dish sponges. The yellow one is for the dishes, blue one is for the counters, and the neither one shares the others duties. Well, one evening he was doing the dishes with the BLUE sponge! OMGOSH! I wanted to jump out my skin, and say, "WAIT! STOP! YOUR DOING IT WRONG!"  But I didn't, I held it in, and watch with squeamish eyes and then waited until he wasn't looking to re-do them, and of course he saw me.... I should have just left that one alone, and I am still learning to deal with situations like those.

So, that's alittle about what my family is doing right now, how does your family handle reintegration.



Sarah Chapman said...

Love this post...we'll see what happens in our household in a couple of months.

Jessica said...

great post!

Like you we have been through 3 deployments and now our 3rd reintegraton...each one is different and presents its own challenges.