Sunday, December 26, 2010

Its almost over

This year, my boys and I did the holidays
"just us".

My husband is deployed.
For the third time.

Usually, I just go straight through Christmas as if he was here.
I decorate.
I bake.
I take tons of pictures.
But those Christmas' were about 9 month into a deployment,
where I was fully functional and use to be being by myself.


But this deployment is different.
 He has not even been gone a month.
Im still finding my "footing".
Its Isaacs first Christmas,
And it sucks.
I didnt decorate.
I didnt bake.
And this shutter bug left the camera in the drawer.

Now dont get me wrong, I had fantastic friends who invited me to their homes.
Which I appreciated.
(and I went)
But Im sure they could tell I really wasnt in a great mood.
I didnt mean to seem so down and well, weird.

But my husband is gone and theirs is still here.
Im not jelous, I am happy for them, that they had their husband home to spend Christmas with.
Their children had their daddies there to put together their toys.

But we didnt.
It feels weird to spend time with friends and their husbands.
Almost the third wheel feeling, with the addition of my three little wheels.

I dont know.
It just feels weird.




The Household 6 Diva said...

"Army Strong" isn't really about the number of push-ups you can do.

I think it's about Resilience.

The ability to bounce back from challenges and stay calm under stress.

Stay strong my friend, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other!


Laura said...

I know what you mean, it all has a feeling of just not quite belonging and feeling like the odd man out. No worries, we will all be right there with you soon! It is how I felt at Halloween (strangely enough- but in my defense it is my hubs fav holiday) last deployment, I did not want to decorate, go trick or treating, or anything! I honestly do not even remember that Halloween.